Recently someone in one of my groups posed this question: “ Why do we even want to work so hard at becoming self aware?” It is a rich, complex, and wonderful question to think about and not an easy one to answer. We each will come up with our own answers and those may even change over time, but it is a good question to think about. Here are my current thoughts: I believe that we are on a path towards our soul's evolution. Being in physical form is the opportunity to fulfill the curriculum towards that end because we can learn to embrace all the vulnerability of our human nature and at the same time embody the power of our divine nature. Embracing that power is difficult and terrifying because then we have to take responsibility for it. Ultimately, I think, what we do with the power is to live to our fullest potential as divine humans, inspired to create- create beauty, create love and so express the limitlessness and the infinite potential of the soul. When we do that as individuals, we can then inspire, guide, teach, help others and, in this way, raise as many people as possible to the highest frequency of existence which is divine love in it purest expression. For me it is worth doing the work, struggling with my vulnerable humanness, and becoming increasingly aware of my divine nature through the unfolding into the mystical, recognizing that life can be lived in pure joy, gratitude, and love.
About What Happened
Every moment of every day, we are called to do the work of staying aware, conscious, and loving, through quiet times, turbulent times, and challenges. Yesterday my 78 year old husband was viciously assaulted in our driveway. Two men came to him and asked for help, and my husband, who does not live in fear whatsoever, helped. Although they had access to the house, and came in they did not steal or even touch anything. But after they filled their car with the gas they had asked for, they beat my husband, hitting him on the back of his head with the gas can, hitting his face, and kicking him when he was down. Then they drove away. When I arrived home, I found my husband beaten and bleeding, but conscious.
In the ER we had to wait for hours. There were people wearing masks, coughing, and on the large TV the news informed us of all the ER's around the country where symptomatic people were waiting in the same area with all the other patients and how frightening that is. I asked that the channel be changed, for which there was general approval. By this time, I had stopped shaking, family and friends had been informed, the police had come, taken a statement and photos, and I felt incredible sadness for my sweet husband. That's when I sensed it. That need to get into the heart, breathe, feel the energy expanding, raise the frequency, feel love and only love. Move from fear to trust, from sadness to kindness. To do everything I have been learning, writing about, and earnestly trying to practice, especially in the last two years learning from Joe Dispenza. I wish I could tell you I stayed in that space, but I didn't. It came and went. When we passed by the area where I had just been with my mother a few weeks ago right before she transitioned, as I watched my husband wincing in discomfort while the doctor put in stitch after stitch to his head, behind his ears, cleaning the wounds on his arm, and when the doctor started talking with me (maybe because I'm a doctor) about his frustration and anger related to the covid virus and the CDC which is not allowing him to test the symptomatic people that he thinks need to be tested, I would go back to fear, sadness, grief, and anger. So it was a challenge. Each time I would connect again, looking for that space where we feel the embrace of higher consciousness and each time I could do that, I felt the comfort, peace, gratitude, even coherence to send healing energy - that glimpse of being greater than our bodies and our environment.
It was a tough 9 hours. I got through it with gratitude for this work. In the last two years, it has helped me to get through very difficult moments Dr. Dispenza has taught his students the value of meditation. We do many forms of meditation, sitting, laying down, walking. We go to workshops where it so easy to be in that state. I think what we are really striving for is "living meditation.” Living, breathing that state every single moment. Loving ourselves as we stumble and then get better and better at it, until it becomes such a seamless part of our being that we don't even think about it or have to work at it.
In this world we have many opportunities to help us get there. I am sharing my story to all who struggle to maintain equilibrium and a higher state of consciousness to let you know that even though learning to live with this awareness is not always easy, it is worth the endeavor. We have the capacity to get beyond our limitations, what we have defined as our limited selves, and as we do so, we will not only shift our energy and elevate our consciousness but, perhaps will touch everyone around us until we cannot help but live only with kindness, compassion, and love for ourselves and one another.
On Energy Healing
I am part of a volunteer energy healing group that follows the work of Joe Dispenza. Recently someone asked about the differences in energy healing modalities and which is best. My take on healing is this: It is all the same at its essence, the differences have to do with belief systems about process, the method to get there, and the teachers/ developers who "create" "new" techniques. I believe that at the essence they are all the same in that
1. it is about energy and how it is sent/ received,
2. about intention of the healer and of the receiver,
3. the capacity for the healer to get out of the way and become a channel for higher intelligence/ divine love/healing. The more the healer can disconnect from ego/ identity, the better.
Healing techniques are like having many different languages. They all may be saying the same thing it just sounds different. This is a wonderful thing because we are all unique humans and the more diversity we have in our in processes, the more languages we have, the more people can be reached and will understand. A healing method that works for one may not work for another. When I do an energy session, I don’t think in terms of my training such as reiki or what I have learned from my teachers, only what is for the highest good of the being before me and only with the intention of channelling the highest frequency of love. Because at its essence all energy healing is about love.
Blog of Helen Pankowsky MD, a psychiatrist who has been using cutting edge modalities, integrating traditional medicine with holistic and alternative methods.