Recently someone in one of my groups posed this question: “ Why do we even want to work so hard at becoming self aware?” It is a rich, complex, and wonderful question to think about and not an easy one to answer. We each will come up with our own answers and those may even change over time, but it is a good question to think about. Here are my current thoughts: I believe that we are on a path towards our soul's evolution. Being in physical form is the opportunity to fulfill the curriculum towards that end because we can learn to embrace all the vulnerability of our human nature and at the same time embody the power of our divine nature. Embracing that power is difficult and terrifying because then we have to take responsibility for it. Ultimately, I think, what we do with the power is to live to our fullest potential as divine humans, inspired to create- create beauty, create love and so express the limitlessness and the infinite potential of the soul. When we do that as individuals, we can then inspire, guide, teach, help others and, in this way, raise as many people as possible to the highest frequency of existence which is divine love in it purest expression. For me it is worth doing the work, struggling with my vulnerable humanness, and becoming increasingly aware of my divine nature through the unfolding into the mystical, recognizing that life can be lived in pure joy, gratitude, and love.
About What Happened
Every moment of every day, we are called to do the work of staying aware, conscious, and loving, through quiet times, turbulent times, and challenges. Yesterday my 78 year old husband was viciously assaulted in our driveway. Two men came to him and asked for help, and my husband, who does not live in fear whatsoever, helped. Although they had access to the house, and came in they did not steal or even touch anything. But after they filled their car with the gas they had asked for, they beat my husband, hitting him on the back of his head with the gas can, hitting his face, and kicking him when he was down. Then they drove away. When I arrived home, I found my husband beaten and bleeding, but conscious.
In the ER we had to wait for hours. There were people wearing masks, coughing, and on the large TV the news informed us of all the ER's around the country where symptomatic people were waiting in the same area with all the other patients and how frightening that is. I asked that the channel be changed, for which there was general approval. By this time, I had stopped shaking, family and friends had been informed, the police had come, taken a statement and photos, and I felt incredible sadness for my sweet husband. That's when I sensed it. That need to get into the heart, breathe, feel the energy expanding, raise the frequency, feel love and only love. Move from fear to trust, from sadness to kindness. To do everything I have been learning, writing about, and earnestly trying to practice, especially in the last two years learning from Joe Dispenza. I wish I could tell you I stayed in that space, but I didn't. It came and went. When we passed by the area where I had just been with my mother a few weeks ago right before she transitioned, as I watched my husband wincing in discomfort while the doctor put in stitch after stitch to his head, behind his ears, cleaning the wounds on his arm, and when the doctor started talking with me (maybe because I'm a doctor) about his frustration and anger related to the covid virus and the CDC which is not allowing him to test the symptomatic people that he thinks need to be tested, I would go back to fear, sadness, grief, and anger. So it was a challenge. Each time I would connect again, looking for that space where we feel the embrace of higher consciousness and each time I could do that, I felt the comfort, peace, gratitude, even coherence to send healing energy - that glimpse of being greater than our bodies and our environment.
It was a tough 9 hours. I got through it with gratitude for this work. In the last two years, it has helped me to get through very difficult moments Dr. Dispenza has taught his students the value of meditation. We do many forms of meditation, sitting, laying down, walking. We go to workshops where it so easy to be in that state. I think what we are really striving for is "living meditation.” Living, breathing that state every single moment. Loving ourselves as we stumble and then get better and better at it, until it becomes such a seamless part of our being that we don't even think about it or have to work at it.
In this world we have many opportunities to help us get there. I am sharing my story to all who struggle to maintain equilibrium and a higher state of consciousness to let you know that even though learning to live with this awareness is not always easy, it is worth the endeavor. We have the capacity to get beyond our limitations, what we have defined as our limited selves, and as we do so, we will not only shift our energy and elevate our consciousness but, perhaps will touch everyone around us until we cannot help but live only with kindness, compassion, and love for ourselves and one another.
On Energy Healing
I am part of a volunteer energy healing group that follows the work of Joe Dispenza. Recently someone asked about the differences in energy healing modalities and which is best. My take on healing is this: It is all the same at its essence, the differences have to do with belief systems about process, the method to get there, and the teachers/ developers who "create" "new" techniques. I believe that at the essence they are all the same in that
1. it is about energy and how it is sent/ received,
2. about intention of the healer and of the receiver,
3. the capacity for the healer to get out of the way and become a channel for higher intelligence/ divine love/healing. The more the healer can disconnect from ego/ identity, the better.
Healing techniques are like having many different languages. They all may be saying the same thing it just sounds different. This is a wonderful thing because we are all unique humans and the more diversity we have in our in processes, the more languages we have, the more people can be reached and will understand. A healing method that works for one may not work for another. When I do an energy session, I don’t think in terms of my training such as reiki or what I have learned from my teachers, only what is for the highest good of the being before me and only with the intention of channelling the highest frequency of love. Because at its essence all energy healing is about love.
Advice to my younger self
I was recently asked a simple question and I was thankful for the opportunity to think about that question, it was a meaningful exercise. Only wish I had a time machine to actually do it!
My advice would be...
Be fearless about almost anything, especially in opening your heart. Most often saying yes to life will pay off more than saying no. Trust the unknown to surprise you and delight you. Don’t ignore the intuitive guidance you are getting just because you don’t understand it or are afraid.
Stop putting yourself down, expecting yourself to be perfect, trying to please others, and thinking that you are the thoughts you have about yourself. You are not your identity, so surrender to your highest self and the highest consciousness. Your true self is greater, more magnificent, more powerful, and more amazing than you can imagine. It is not arrogance so learn to trust, honor, and love yourself.
Understanding how to live aware and inspired is my passion, not just for myself but for sharing what I know in order to guide others towards living their life in the best way possible. So it seems appropriate that for my first blogs I will be writing about the word INSPIRED.
The word itself, INSPIRED, can be looked at as an acronym whose letters make up everything you need to live an inspired life. This acronym is I for Intuition, N for Neurology, S for Spiritual, P for Physical, I for Insight, R for Resolution of E for Emotions, and finally D for Discovery, Divine, Destiny. In the coming posts, we will be going into the details of each of these.
I love etymology, the study of where words come from. From the time I was young, my Dad would never use a “big” word without explaining the Latin or Greek origin of that word. Words would take on a deeper meaning, something I have carried with me through all my explorations of metaphors, symbols, and how we communicate with one another. I hope by looking at the word “inspired” in this way it will enrich your understanding of how this word can teach us through its meaning. Inspire comes from Latin and means to breathe into, to excite, inflame, animate, and enliven. - to fill the mind, heart, and body with breath, with grace, with life. How perfect is that if you are striving to live in an inspired way? But what does it even mean to live an INSPIRED life? That’s where our acronym comes in. So lets get started.
The first letter in the word INSPIRED is I for Intuition. I have come to see intuition as the skill we need to hear the subtle language of the mind and the higher consciousness. When I have taught classes on expanded awareness and in my book I begin by teaching about intuition, how to recognize it, how to develop it, trust it, and use it. Let me ask you, are you intuitive? Some of you may not think you are. Some of you may know you are intuitive, but do you trust your intuition? And if you trust your intuition do you trust your intuition enough to actually follow it most, if not all, of the time? Well guess what? You are intuitive whether you realize it or not. (I feel a little like Oprah when she gave away cars because I want to point at you and shout, “you get intuition, and you get intuition and you get intuition, you ALL get intuition!!!) Intuition is a sensory perception that we all have- just like your seeing, hearing, smelling, touching, tasting, and feeling. And if you are not using your intuition it is like ignoring a valuable sense that is available to you to navigate your way through life and in the world. It is like ignoring your vision if you see a fire, or your sense of smell if you smell smoke, or your hearing if you hear an alarm, or taste if you don’t savor a perfect, velvety, morsel of chocolate. All our senses are there to guide, inform, and enhance the wide range of experiences we encounter in life.
But in addition, intuition is important because it is the language you need to hear the subtle information you hold about the truth of who you are. It may seem complicated, but follow along with me. We are energetic beings, we have an energy field, the mind has an energy field, the field holds information. the information is about the sum total of who you are, what you have experienced, learned, and felt. It is this rich vault of information that can guide you to find out where you are stuck, what your patterns are, what enhances and strengthens you and what causes you to hold back, and finally how and what you take in from the world around you. How do you access all this valuable information? That’s where intuition comes in. When you meditate, are mindful, are in silence; when you create art, have meaningful dreams and reveries; when you have “aha” moments, insights, gut feelings, goosebumps -those are all ways that your intuition tries to speak to you. Learning to pay attention, to trust that voice is easier for some that others. But it is a skill that can be developed and the more you strengthen and refine that skill, the more you are validated, and the more you will come to trust it.
There is so much to learn about intuition. It is something that I will continue to write about because I think it is that important. but for now let me share some exercises to help you get started in developing your skills.
1) Breathe: First I’m going to teach you about breathing. Of course you know how to breathe! But there is an optimal way of breathing that will maximize the amount of oxygen coming into your lungs. It is called diaphragmatic breathing. When you breathe this way you are telling your brain that you are safe. Think about it. When we are in danger our breath is short and shallow. This allows for more oxygen to go to our legs- where we will need it the most in order to run and get away from that danger. If you are taking full deep breaths, you are doing the opposite and reassuring the brain that the oxygen can be used in the way you want- to relax. To know that you are breathing diaphragmatically, pretend you have a balloon in your tummy. Your job is to inflate that balloon when you inhale and deflate it when you exhale. Put you hands on your belly when you practice so that you will feel it moving up and down. Your shoulders should not be moving at all. Now breathe in slowly, hold it for just a fraction of a second and then exhale slowly. Try this when you want to calm down. It will work. It is how you need to begin any exercise and the best way to get clear when you want to tune in to intuitive information.
2) Red light/green light: Try this if you have a question that you need guidance for. Relax, breathe, and focus on your question. Visualize a traffic light and notice what lights up. Green is a yes or positive response, red is a no or negative response and yellow is wait or proceed with caution. You may get other input in the form of images, sounds, smells, words. Pay attention, that too is part of your answer. A variation of this is checkboxes: visualize “yes” with a check box next to it and “no” with a check box next to it. Notice which box gets checked.
3) Hand Energy: with both palms up, decide which will be the yes and which will be the no. Then relax, breathe, and focus on your question. Put all your attention on your palms. Notice which side feels heavier, warmer, or tingles. It is a clue to the answer you are seeking. You may get other input in the form of images, sounds, smells, words. Pay attention, that too is part of your answer.
4) Finally just “play”. Try to “see” what a person you are on your way to meet will look like, be wearing, etc. Try to “guess” an outcome of a game or other experience.
These are just simple beginning exercises. The second and third are variations of kinesiology or muscle testing that I will cover in a future post. Keep in mind this is only an introduction and there is much more to discover about how you can trust and use intuition to guide you. I go into much more detail in my book, Living Aware and Inspired. In addition I highly recommend that you read the writings of other intuitives like Tina Zion, Judith Orloff, Mona Lisa Schultz, Christine Page, and Carolyn Myss, among others.
I hope you will stay check in with me as I share more of what I have learned and what I know about living aware and inspired. Please contact me with questions, comments, and anything else you want to share!
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Blog of Helen Pankowsky MD, a psychiatrist who has been using cutting edge modalities, integrating traditional medicine with holistic and alternative methods.